Productivity, Self-worth and Realistic Expectations in Early Motherhood & Entrepreneurship
As a new momma and small business owner (ps no one told me in grad school that being a therapist was a whole a** business…lol), I am currently in a journey of trying to create realistic expectations for myself because my 10 month old daughter could CARE LESS about what I have on my to-do list- AND THAT's OK! Like many new mommas, I am learning to untangle my self-worth from my productivity because being “productive” as a mom sometimes looks like being present & resting so that I have enough space in my nervous system to better manage the cries, the triggers and the pressures of this season. I have to fight the urge (aka anxiety, hurry, guilt, irritability, +) to do something traditionally “productive” when I am hanging out with her so that I can be present, so I take a deep breathe & do a little self-talk to my inner niña because I know this runs deep for me. It looks different depending on the situation but may sound like: Your presence is enough…You are already enough…You don't have to do more to be loved…You are loved when you feel “lazy” and you're not being “lazy” you are resting & you deserve that. If you can relate, I encourage you to notice the moments you get pulled toward “productivity," name it, and tell your inner child what they need to hear so that they can rest & be present in that moment. The to-do list will always be there, but not everything is a priority. When it comes to running my small business, this looks like making a REALISTIC list of weekly “must-dos” on Monday and trying to allocate a REALISTIC amount of time to work on it when we have the sitter or when she naps (key word: realistic, and this often means pulling in support). I also make a list of “nice-to-dos” for those things that aren't quite priorities, but on my list none-the-less. I remind myself that I have time for my priorities and what needs to get done WILL. This isn't always easy, but when I catch myself TRYING TO DO THE MOST, I start journaling “What are my priorities for this week?” and try to stick to those. I don't have it all figured out, but in this season of my life I am committed to learning how to prioritize so that “good enough is good enough!" and I can embody that “REST & PRESENCE ARE PRODUCTIVE!” If you feel me, You got this! Stay connected to your values & know you are enough.
ps the topic for this week's momma group (week 3/10 video) is the expectations, beliefs and pressures that we experience in new motherhood- you can still sign up for the group if you'd like to engage in this conversation in a group or you join the community space to access additional resources. Email me if you have any questions (hello@connectwithjlee.com)
-J.Lee “MillennialTheraMom” <3
