My First Year Too: 20 Reflections One Year Postpartum
I don’t know how but my baby girl just turned 1 year old this past Monday. This past year has definitely taken me for a ride but I am grateful for all the lessons learned. It is still a work in progress but I wanted to share with you some of the main reflections I had as I reflected on this past year in case it helps you on your new parenthood journey too. Let me know if any of them resonate!
I deserve the love, compassion and care I give to others too.
Set boundaries to protect your needs, value, time and capacity (including with yourself).
Look at what’s on your plate: delegate, ask for help &/or take it off altogether. Also asking for help takes practice.
Slow down, rest and be still. This may take practice but it is necessary!
Embrace mistakes and imperfection on this learning curve. It is how you learn.
Matrescence (the process of becoming a mom) is real and is full of mixed feelings so feel the feels! (ps Journaling is great!)
Grief and rage are cousins: it’s okay to feel both.
Care work is valuable!!! (even if society hasn’t caught up… value yourself & communicate this with your partner)
The invisible load of motherhood can get heavy so write it out, give yourself compassion and ask for help.
Manage your expectations of what is a “good mom” and adjust expectations- they are often too high. Good enough is good enough.
Vulnerability and self-reflection are key in this journey.
Take breaks and time for yourself- if you don’t, you may start to feel exhausted and burned out. This will mean leaning on support.
Notice your inner critic and talk back- talk to yourself nicely.
Mindfulness and meditation are great tools to be a more present parent and take care of yourself.
You and your husband are on the same team! Help each other carry the burdens and stress of parenting. Communicate it.
It takes courage to parent, reparent and heal but you got this!
Embrace flexibility and try to let go of control as best you can, one baby step at at time.
Becoming a mother is a birthing process too- it comes with grief of who we used to be and joy of what we will become.
Connect with other mommas and be real about your experience. They likely are too!
When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a deep breathe, and check in on what you need. Take whatever baby step for wellness you need.
I am sure I will learn more and will need to constantly re-learn and practice this but for now I hope something is relevant for you! Take care of yourself <3
-Jlee
